02 Jun THE LONGEST DAY
Here’s the second post. – the Author
**
Engage autopilot.
Phase in Longest Day protocol.
Run program.
Sit.
Wait.
Let the hospice nurse in. She didn’t have a reason to be there other than she cared about our family and wanted to be with us awhile.
Doorbell.
The nurse lets in the hospice chaplain. Nice guy. He didn’t argue the week before when he offered to counsel me and I growled, “Not now.”
Eat? No mental record if I did or not.
Talk nonsensical bullshit with the siblings and the grandchildren. File the anger away for later.
Make sure Mom still gets her medicine.
Feel the cold blasts of air as I walk through the ghosts waiting around her bed.
Wonder which one threw the decorative wall cross across the breezeway several weeks before. Figure it was Faye. She would do that just to hear me cuss.
Wait some more.
Pace.
Sit.
TV. Feels wrong; Mom hates stupid lip-synch shows like this. But it beats the 24-hours of LifeLock infomercials that day she wouldn’t relinquish the remote.
Check the clock.
Time: 9:30.
“Guys?”
Oh dear God no…
Feel her soul slip past me. Feel the other ghosts leave the room.
Feel my sweet Papa puff up with pride as he walks her Home.
Disconnect.
Make a few calls that all sound the same.
“The fight’s over.”
Run from the pain for a very, very long time.
**
Five years.
Where the hell did five years go?
I miss you so much, Momma
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